Writer's Block

I haven't written in the blog for a while, well its Christmas you see! a good blanket excuse for all your December shortcomings.

There must be certain people that dread Christmas, those who work in law enforcement, public transport, accident and emergency, quite simply because The Great British Public + Christmas = More people going out drinking even more than usual = chaos.

My blog absence is not due to Christmas, rather writers block, can't particularly think of anything to write about.

Looking at my last post about holiday harrasment it finally sunk in why I get undue attention from homos and prostitutes when on holiday in Brazil, and I know who is to blame. 10 per cent of my plane was filled with European fellas whose holiday motivations I suspect was the non-stop packing of local fudge. The other 10 per cent were groups of ugly middle aged men with their valuable European currency they had spent the year saving along with an accumulation of lust given that the girls in their own countries won't look twice at them, no doubt they embarked on a charge of the crap haircut dodgy moustache brigade straight to the nearest brothel upon arrival.

Given my writer's block it makes me respect journalists more given that it is there job to produce material on a daily basis for the public to read..........actually that is bollocks the run of the mill journalists in the UK particularly those that write in tabloids are scum.

I realised this the other day when I was watching the secret life of Colleen on Channel 5, following around the publicity hungry fiancé of Europe's best footballer, Wayne Rooney. There was one columnist from the Daily Mirror who was responsible for the most vitriolic attacks on the future Mrs Rooney regarding her weight, clothes, choice of friends etc. Fair enough, Colleen seems to love the limelight and needs the journalists to boost her public profile, but when they were interviewing the journalist in question I saw this posh smart-ass trying to hide the fact she is approaching 50 with a Superdrug counter's worth of make up. I think it is sick that she goes out of her way to single out a (then) 17 year old from Liverpool who I suspect she is actually infinitely jealous of.

I'm not sticking up for attention hungry celebrities, to tell you the truth i'm sick of them, Big Brother contestants, failed Pop Idols, and washed up soap stars who are now famous for no other reason than actually being famous. What does this make the journalists who report on the celebrities' Kings Road shopping trips or drunken parties in Funky Buddha? merely parasites of a pathetic species, who as they can't be one of them take up a career writing about them.

1 Lonely Filthbag = 8,000 pervs

Prior to my recent holiday in Egypt I was told by numerous people how the local men will not leave Western girls in peace. This did not take place in the resort I stayed in but given what I saw in the airport and what I heard from the Aussie girl who ventured into the nearest town, harrasment is indeed rampant. This is by no means unique to Egypt I remember one girl saying her holiday to budget destination Gambia was ruined by local pervs!

I have a mathematical theory for why this happens;

Some women in Europe are desperate, often this is proportional to their mingingness, this then would make them ideal candidates for a holiday romance with the young handsome waiter/bartender/market trader who given the lack of approachability of the women folk of his native country, will go with absolutely anything. Lonely western women and local perv is an ideal match.

Though which came first Ms Lonely or Mr Perv? My theory is that for every lady that goes on holiday and has a 'local experience' he is going to tell at least 20 of his mates about his conquest and more than likely lie about how good looking she was and deduct 10 (or maybe even 20 in the extreme cases) years off her real age they in turn will tell 20 of their mates who will then spread the word about the easy Western woman to another 20 friends.

As a result 1 holiday romance in some countries will result in the creation of 8000 pervs (20x20x20=8000), all believing that because their friend of a friend got lucky they should be able to also! thus the population of Egypt is 58.52million presuming half of them are male it then only needs 3,625 ladies to romance a local fellow (quite feasible given that Egypt gets 7 million tourists a year) to create a whole nation of leering pervs!