Have you ever been 'Googled'?

I was watching rom-com 'Hitch' with Will Smith the other day, which like a few other films of its genre (Notting Hill, Four Weddings) I will have to begrudgingly admit that it is quite amusing! I learnt a new verb from the film, uber-fit Eva Mendes talks to her single girlfriends about 'googling' their potential suitors. This was new to me, it means looking up individuals on Google search engine (not bowling a deceptive delivery at them with a cricket ball).

Having given it a bit of further thought I have in one form or another been 'googling' people for a few years now just didn't know that there actually existed a word for this.

This has been most useful prior to job interviews I find that 'Friends Reuniteding' your interviewers often provides you with a wealth of information about them that has come in useful in my last two successful job interviews.

Given this success I have also resorted to 'Yahooing' potential flatmates. I discovered that my newest housemate was actually a succsessful musician reassuring me that he wasn't using the term musician as a pseudonym for unemployed bum.

It makes me think what if someone 'Googled' me. Since my devious pre-interview preparation on Friends Reunited I have ammended my profile to make it more inoffensive. Given that my first name probably only comes second to James for most common name for middle class white boys in their 20s and O'Connor is as common as Smith in Ireland it should be rather unsurprising that Googling myself came up with 22,600 results, a selection of which follow;

Matthew O'Connor

-Was part of the executive production team for films such as; Face Off, Pirates of the Caribbean and War of the Worlds

- Founded pressure group Father's for Justice with their penchant for climbing up famous landmarks in super hero outfits

- Was stuck down the sink in Steven King's IT (I remember watching this bit and crapping myself)

- Is a Doctor in a work of Lesbian Literature called Nightwood described as; a poverty - stricken alcoholic who is pleasurably inclined towards homosexuality, transvestitism, and self - demoralization

For Googling someone to really work they need a bit more of a unique name than mine. I found out that Tyrone is in the City University team for the Jessop Moot competition (????), Daryush once applied for an English teaching job in Istanbul and Marc took nearly as much exception to Big Brother 2005 housemate Makosi as he does to this blog.

Guidlines for the Gym

The importance of regular exercise sunk in when I arrived in Paris to meet a friend I haven't seen for a while who immediatly cracked up laughing, repeatedly calling me 'beer after work man'.

Since the age of 18 I have been a member of 5 different gyms at one time or another. I don't particularly like the gym, its not a very welcoming place its full of very odd people. I go to the gym as I feel it is important given my partiality to beer and food and my adolescent metabolism now being a distant memory.

I've come up with a few guidlines to make the gym visits more tolerable.

1) Blokes, I appreciate that supposedly 1 in 10 of us is a homosexual, perhaps, given that my gym is a) a gym and b) in Central London this could perhaps be as high as 1 in 5. It would be nice if they could respect the 80 per cent of us that are hetero. I appreciate that they are working out to look good when they go out cruising however there is no rainbow flag outside the gym, and there are plenty of more suitable places to go on the pull or indeed come out of the closet, indeed I heard rumours that once night falls on Hampstead Heath the entire spectrum of homo-erotic fetishes are catered for in various locations across the park.

2) Hetero blokes can avoid giving the homos the wrong impression by not poncing about the changing rooms, there are NO girls there, there NEVER will be any girls there and don't they have a mirror at home in to which they can stare at themselves intensely whilst flexing their muscles?

3) Obviously nudity is to be expected in the changing rooms though logic and practicality suggests underwear should be put on before shirts ties and cufflinks.

4) Remember beauty is on the inside or to put it more crudely 'you can't polish a turd'

5) Girls if you don't want boys to look at twenty of you on all fours with your bums sticking in the air in the fitness studio doing your legs bums and tums class, write to the gym and ask them to fit curtains in the fitness studio.

6) Boys be a bit more discreet when staring at the girls in legs bums and tums class otherwise they will put curtains or tinted glass in the fitness studio and deprive us of one of the few joys of the gym.

Harry Potter - keeps me ticking over

The new Harry Potter film comes out tomorrow so no doubt all the little pre pubescents who are yet to discover Reader's Wives magazine (though I suppose it will be readerswives.com in this day and age) will be wetting themselves with excitement.

I was a latecomer on the Harry Potter bandwagon. Living abroad for over a year with little updates on what is going on back home other than football scores is quite a peculiar experience, things change! You arrive home and discover that your mushroom haircut and red YSL jacket are out of fashion (if they were ever actually in fashion) the number of football supporters for London clubs has mysteriously doubled, the most popular rap artist is white, and everyone child and adult alike is going mad for some children's book about a young wizard.

At first I thought it was stupid and embarrassing that all these adults were reading a children's book and calling themselves 'muggles' with their 'mates' in North London 'gastro' pubs (the latter is still inexcusable).

It was a stint of unemployment after finishing uni that converted me. I was bored , I would wake up at 4 PM rush to great dressed and pretend to my Mum who had just got home from work that I had been up for hours.

What kept me ticking over for a few weeks were Harry Potter I, II, III and IV, I read the four consecutively in a short space of time and was converted. I did then lose track of what was going on and only picked up the last two books recently. They make the journey to work pass in an instant and I am actually quite concerned about what I'm going to read when i've finished.

I can forgive J.K Iwasasinglemotheronbenefitsyouknow! Rowling for ripping off Lord of the Rings and the Chronicles of Narnia big time in her books as long as she hurries up and gets number seven out to keep me ticking over for another few weeks.

Plagiarism

Has been a while since the last post! the honeymoon period in the new job is over, so idle afternoons thinking up new posts for the blogs are few and far between.

Further to my Arctic Monkeys - Believe the Hype post, I came across the below article in The Economist;

Monkey business
Oct 27th 2005 From The Economist print edition

Music charts began as a way for record labels to market their acts. How galling then for the industry that the number-one spot in this week's chart was taken by Arctic Monkeys, a band from Sheffield whose first professional single owes its existence not to the image-makers but to internet file-sharing. The band began by handing out free CDs with rough versions of songs at concerts. Songs were made available on the band's website and e-mailed between fans. Now, says Johnny Bradshaw of Domino (the label that belatedly signed the band), when Arctic Monkeys play concerts, 1,500 people sing along to songs that have not yet been released. Even more sweetly, the band seized the top spot from the Sugababes, a manufactured pop act with sculpted eyebrows and perfect hair. Though bands have used the internet to market themselves before, none has won such commercial success without the help of a record company. If I were a major record label, I'd be firing my A&R man,says Mr Bradshaw. There is some comfort for the industry as it contemplates the threat to its revenues from the internet, though: at least enough fans went and bought the single to send it to number one.

Mixed feelings about this article, my initial reaction was 'oi I said that first' with specific regard to the observations that their 'first professional single owes its existence not to the image-makers but to internet file-sharing' and 'when Arctic Monkeys play concerts, 1,500 people sing along to songs that have not yet been released'. Whilst I want to accuse the world renowned publication of plagiarism, at the same time I feel an element of smugness that similar things are being written about in The Economist as my two bob blog.

Another issue to take into consideration is that now that the band have reached number one in the charts, a place usually reserved for the likes of Westlife, Crazy Frog, and reality show winners, and press coverage extends even to the 'uncool' Economist, I think perhaps being an Arctic Monkeys fan no longer makes you 'cool' and 'cutting edge'.

Will I now become like the music boffins Henry 'I interviewed them at Coventry uni when they were unknowns' Norman, Marcelo 'I liked Keane before the rest of Brazil did' Paiva, or Captain 'I don't like them any more because they are to commercial' Beancod, and start spouting the 'I liked them before everybody else did' Cliche?